Processing

I am feeling more grounded, at ease and happy for now at least. Last 2 weeks I was down and really down right below. Never thought I can go till this level where pain, truth and enlightenment is revealed. I am a drama man I must admit, attracting all sorts of things into my life - Health, wealth, fitness, career, family, friends, backstabber, 'doubter' shooter, Xsss, trustees ect...Seems to have discover a much deeper self, very scary and very traumatize by all these. Could not sleep, could not eat, could not think, could not feel - NUMB is the word, motionless after emotions of EMOTIONS. Questions were put to me what is the common dominator to all these attractions? I am unsure, lost, confused, and at the same time healing, processing and may get the answer real soon if I make the correct guess. Is this a Mack Truck? How do you define Mack truck, to what ratio, to what scale? How big, how small, how intense, how heavy? Will I get recover after this or choose to beat myself up, immerse into more pain and sorrow? What is on the other side of the coin? - Distinctions, clarity, the truth, the understanding of life in every breath, beingness, power of present, happiness, peace, etc… Bottomline - I AM ALIVE! I am breathing, I am walking, I am thinking, I am healing, I am processing, I am sleeping, I am dreaming, etc…I am so grateful and bless till this moment I am typing.
WIFLS is - Great Spirit, I know deep inside me you are always around to go through with me each and every situation that I am traveling in my life journey. You guided me, perturbated me, ask more of me, watching over me, breaking me down, lifting me up, each and every action goes into reaction from the cause and effect syndrome that makes me realized ME. What can I say except gratification and love. Whatever that is happening right now I am attracting to it. This question was I who put to myself when ALL these happened but you sent an angel that question me and instead of questioning why I attracted all these, ask how to RESOLVE all these NOW! Its not a matter of right or wrong but SOLVE it. This question of attraction still bears at the back of mind and yes I attracted all these but THINK when I am in a more sober clearer mind. Not now! Resolution is the way not compromise. How far do I want the rubber band to stretch? Do I have to snap it to learn? Do I have to burn it, stick it to my skin to feel the intense pain then I will learn? Do I needed that in the first place? NO! Never! That’s why education plays a big part in my life, constantly! Each and every obstacle just makes me stronger and evolve. 'What doesn't kills me makes me stronger'. Now I am thinking and I know that I need that one moment to peel of the wounded onion and continuing peeling until I am 'born' again!
Like I always said - 'Its in the moment of decision that YOUR DESTINY is shaped!' I am shaping now!

That’s WIFLS